Stop the Self Criticism!

Look in the mirror. What do you see? More importantly, what do you tell yourself?

If you're like me, you focus on the flaws... the wrinkles, the blemish, the uneven skin tones, or worse, the extra weight you're carrying.

The person in the mirror is the harshest critic we face every day. Let that soak in for a minute.

I recently read "Believe IT" by Jamie Kern Lima. If you haven't read it, it's phenomenal. I'd even say order it and come back to this newsletter. It's ok, I'll wait.

"Believe It" is about more than a rise in business. It's about persistence. While reading it, I became increasing aware of the negative talk we all put ourselves through. We're programed at such a young age that we have to be perfect. The perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect employee/volunteer, etc. The list goes on and on.

The negative things we are told become that proverbial mountain that's really a molehill. And what's worse is that it stays with us long after it should!

How do I push past my negative self-talk?

Listen to yourself. What are you actually saying to yourself?

Our first (1) step is to acknowledge the intention behind the self talk.

Sometimes, what starts out as a protective measure becomes problematic because we start to believe this as our truth.

The next step (2) is to focus on the opposite traits! "So-and-So think I'm…". Now find the reasons why you're NOT actually that way. Real life example from me… I've struggled with my weight for more years than I can count. Yes, I have fat, but it doesn't define me as a person. I know I have many more qualities than just my outward appearance. Do I struggle with it? Of course. I'm human. But I remind myself of all my other qualities that deserve to be focused on.

Lastly (3), push past your own self-limitations! Open your heart to yourself. Remind yourself of the positive qualities you have. Create your own personal mantra! "I am wildly capable of …" or anything that is completely appropriate for you! Put it as a daily reminder in your phone to pop up when you know you need the reminder! But here's the thing. Don't ignore it. ACTUALLY READ IT. Take a moment to digest the words, the meaning behind it. It won't work after only one or two days. Keep going until you actually believe it. Then keep it on your daily reminders as just that… a reminder of your phenomenal self-worth!

So what do I do now?

If you're struggling to get past your negative self-talk, let's chat. Sometimes we're "too close" to challenge ourselves to see the good. Schedule some time with me and let's work together to get that negative side of your brain something better to focus on!

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