Blogging … for my sanity

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to start blogging again. I've done it off and on in years past and was on the fence to do it again. Fears of writer’s block, being interesting… like who’s going to actually read what I have to say? And then I remember my little soapbox here. Maybe I don’t have something that “everyone” will want to read, but then I think of that one person who needs to read this. I hope you stumble on it when the moment is right!

So today is Monday. An “asynchronous” school day. Our first quarter where we let the kids try to gain their independence failed miserably 6 weeks in. They clearly needed more than what we thought they were capable of. We pivot. We’re reasonable. We’re in the trenches.

Between new technology systems, a new way to do things and not physically being anywhere but home, we got into a groove. Maybe that’s a little too optimistic. We got into a pattern of getting stuff done. From all “F” grades to one kid with all letters of the alphabet (ok, we still have a D-) and one kid that’s pass/fail …. We’re struggling.

Trying to figure out how each teacher does things is challenging too. I’m not knocking teachers. I know so many of them and respect how hard they’re working and being challenged. I’m just saying between my two kids and 14 teachers, not everyone does it the same way. Add in any type of learning disability and it just makes the actual work so much harder. At least for one in our house.

So on Mondays, we sit here trying to figure out what work needs to be submitted, what needs to be done and what needs to be done in class…. It’s a lot. And I haven’t even gotten into emotions… theirs or mine.

As a mom, or even just as a woman, I want to help them navigate this and still just be ok. Not great, not even good. Ok. The emotions around virtual schooling has hit us and we’re on the struggle bus. So I’ve sat back and wondered “If I was a client, what would I tell myself?”

I don’t do tough love. It doesn’t work to demotivate someone who’s already struggling. But I will help draw out the positive. Today’s words of wisdom is “At least I have the time to devote without so many external stressors like I once did.” But that’s not reality today. I’m struggling as much as the kids.

So today is about self care. I will do one thing for myself, alone, to boost my mood, my spirits and not lose my ****.

And self care doesn’t mean sitting here and giving yourself a mini spa day, as nice as that seems! It could be listening to your favorite song, sitting in the bathroom alone, sitting on the couch with a warm blanket. Heck, one woman told me she learns a new language as self care! I thought that was pretty cool and innovative!

Self care isn’t meant to be a chore. But I am of the belief that you can’t really take care of everyone else when you’re tapped out. Are you living when you’re exhausted? Are you suffering of some very “curable” issue if you were just able to muster up the energy to walk for 5 minutes a day?

So today, as I’m about to lose my mind from frustration, I’m going to spend 10 minutes on myself keeping myself together. My kids don’t need “mean mom” coming out because she’s as frustrated as they are. We'll get through this together!

PS - Writing this down really helped!

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