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I can’t. I can’t. I can’t…. Or can I?

When thinking about topics to blog, I want them to be heartwarming, relevant and not repetitve. There’s only a little pressure, right? But I‘ve been thinking of this topic for a few weeks. Why? Because I think we all do this.

We doubt ourselves. We probably did it 100 times today without even thinking twice. Let alone the negatives we may have heard from loved ones. The noise in our heads is LOUD.

I’ve stuggled with weight for seemly my whole life. I have memories of this in fourth grade and going on my first WW experience as a freshman in high school. My mom suffered too, so there was always pressure to be the right weight. Gosh, I could only imagine what she’d think now as so many topics are no longer taboo to talk about, especially mental health.

Anyway, I have told myself the story that I can’t lose weight easily. I had never lost more than 27 pounds in any previous attempt prior to a few years ago. I tried many commercial weight loss plans, fad diets and “nutritional suppliments” that promised weight loss. All worked to a degree and then the second I stopped, it was right back to where I was and often plus some more. Sound familiar? Everyone goes through this.

After all the hardships of the past year, a weight loss plan was offered through my part time job. I jumped at the chance. I told myself I’d try it and see what happens. I was convinced in the moment I could do it, but later told myself it won’t happen.

The holidays came and went and I changed nothing. The second week of January started and I was notified that it was time to start this program. Deep breaths. The app is asking for my weight. Ugh. I knew this would eventually come. Oh good, the app said just guess if you’re not near the scale! No one needed to be as excited as I was in that moment. I put what my weight was in September. I had time to adjust it later.

So imagine my surprise when I actually stepped on the scale and I was DOWN 20 pounds. Wait, what? The person that can’t lose weight did it…. Without trying?! I was convinced something slid under the scale and had prevented it from actually capturing the right number. Two days later, I stepped on the scale to face the music. I was less than two days earlier.

I convinced myself it was either accurate or I was severely ill. Quickly, I realized it was accurate. So now I faced a mental quandry. I can’t just became I can. What other things do I tell myself that I can’t do something and can? Walking post spinal surgery was the same way. I can’t walk around the block, down the road or whatever the distance was. Yet I did it. It sometimes hurt, but I did it. Now it’s not a big deal.

A year ago, I was in training to drive a school bus. I was TERRIFIED. Ever fear from driving a massive vehicle to “I have to drive how many kids?” to “what if…” went through my mind. Guess what? A year later I’m still doing it and It’s challenging but I do it excitedly every day. Heck, I share on facebook those heartwarming stories from “my kids” and my friends like it. Some have even thought I should have been a teacher or councelor! So here is another example of “I can’t” that turned into “I DO”.

So what do you tell yourself you can’t do something? Don’t get me wrong, there are things I can’t do. Like opening the hood of my personal vehicle. I can’t figure out where the darn latch is. So yes, I need my hubby to check my oil and put in windshield wiper fluid for my car when I can do these easily on my bus. Go figure!

As a result of all of this thinking to make the perfect blog post, I made a mental list of things I’ve pushed through. In no particular order…

  • Gotten my BS in Communications with a double concentration.

  • Gotten my Masters in Business during an accelorated program (while planning my wedding)

  • Gotten married and have two amazing kids

  • Moved away from my family to push my career forward

  • Worked for very recognizable companies

  • Been bullied and hurt by friends

  • Been supported by the most amazing people that I’m grateful to call friends

  • Had career successes and a few lows

  • lost a parent

  • lost 3 grandparents as an adult

  • lost my in-law

  • became a Girl Scout leader

  • became a Cub Scout Den leader (and graduated from that role!)

  • lost a job

  • been unemployeed

  • living though a pandemic

  • fought for my kids in their educational needs

  • been in a major car accident

  • had my gall bladder removed and a hysterectomy in the same year

  • had spinal surgery in my neck

  • created a new career path

  • loved and lost our first dog

  • Foster-failed a dog

  • Love our 3 crazy dogs

  • experienced situations that cause me fear even years later

  • Taken care of my own mental health

  • I’m lucky to have family in different states support me in whatever I do

  • Lucky to have ride or die friends that are there even when I don’t need to ask

Phew … what a list. And I could go on and on. Like most, I’ve gone through the highs and lows of life. But stop and write your own list. You may surprise yourself. Sit with your BFF and share the list. I’m sure there will even be a few things that surprise them!

And the amazing part is that no matter your age, we all go through this life differently. And I’m still learning. If you’re a teen reading this, you can look at the similarities in your lists. As a teen, you’re looking to be apart of a friend group while also experiencing your own individuality. There are awesome ways to feel connected to peers and share more about you!

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